Ah, the infamous “due” date…the single day that can bring excitement, anticipation, and frustration when it comes and goes without any sign of a baby. As a doula, one of the most common conversations I have with clients who have seen their due date come and go with no baby in sight is, “yup, this is normal! Your baby will come when they come. As long as you and your baby are both doing well and there are no medical issues creeping up, there’s no need to rush things or stress that you went past your due date. In fact, did you know that only 4-5% of babies are born on their due date?....”
What is a due date, anyway?
A due date is a guesstimate of when your baby will be born, based on the first day of your last menstrual period. The medical opinion of what constitutes a “full term” baby has changed over time, but currently someone is considered “full term” between 39 weeks 0 days and 40 weeks 6 days. The due date is the date that falls at 40 weeks 0 days from your last menstrual period (and btw, it's not based on any current evidence, just on some doctors deciding it).
According to a helpful article on Evidence Based Birth, “Based on the best evidence, there is no such thing as an exact ‘due date,’ and the estimated due date of 40 weeks is not accurate. Instead, it would be more appropriate to say that there is a normal range of time in which most people give birth. About half of all pregnant people will go into labor on their own by 40 weeks and 5 days (for first-time mothers) or 40 weeks and 3 days (for mothers who have given birth before). The other half will not.”
How common is it to go past your due date?
Two studies (2001 and 2013) found that estimated due dates should be closer to 40 weeks + 5 days. Only 4-5% of pregnant people have their babies on their due date. It’s hard to calculate exactly how many people go past their due date because there are various methods of estimating pregnancy length. But one thing that is true is that if this is your first baby, you do have a higher likelihood of going past your due date.
Is going past your due date a problem?
Short answer: not necessarily, and it depends. The risks of some complications go up for the birthing person and baby as you go further past your due date. I’m not going to go into all the risks in this blog post, but you can read about the studies that have been done and the risks that have been found here. What is most important if you go past your due date is to have good communication with your provider and ask them questions about how your health and baby’s health is looking. Going past your due date may not in itself be a valid reason to induce labor, but if there are signs of medical complications creeping up, then your provider will want to talk about induction with you. If induction comes up, this is a helpful article to learn more about it.
I’m past my due date and feeling like a ball of stress + anticipation…what do I do?
In short: if your health + baby’s health is looking good, then your priority at this point is to relax, trust + distract.
Do things that bring you relaxation + comfort:
Get a massage
Get a mani/pedi
Spend time at a favorite coffee shop
Go to the movies and relax in one of those squishy reclining chairs
Take an epsom salt bath with low lights, candles, and music (this is one of my favorite playlists to create a moody bath environment). If you usually like a scalding hot bath, be sure the temp of the water is a bit cooler to keep yourself from overheating.
Do things that help you lean into trust:
Listen to daily relaxation + affirmation tracks. We have several guided meditations on our YouTube channel.
Take at least 5-10 minutes each day to get comfortable and focus on your breath, letting your thoughts + worries float in and out of your mind without holding onto them tightly
If you're feeling a lot of anxiety, share how you’re feeling with your partner, a friend, therapist, or your doula.
Do things that help distract you:
Start one of your favorite feel-good TV series from the beginning again
Get a great novel to read
Reach out to friends to have a coffee date, lunch, walk, or phone call every day you go past your due date. Ask them to dish to you about their life. Talk about other subjects besides pregnancy and birth.
If you’re reading this before your due date, schedule a due date ‘date’ with your partner or a friend. Plan on a special activity to happen on your due date (mani/pedis and dinner at your favorite restaurant? A movie?) so you have something to look forward to that isn’t just your baby’s possible birth day. If your baby does surprise you and come early or on their due date, then just cancel the dinner!
Check out our blog post on 15 things to do on your “due date” (or after!)
If you’re reading this and you’re past your due date, we’re sending you lots of love and understanding. It can be hard to wait, but your baby WILL be here at some point soon(ish). And if people keep texting you asking “have you had that baby yet?” just reply with this link.
